I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. The things you post about are the same things I went through five years ago. My experience is very similar to yours. I was also very good at rationalizing, justifying, minimizing, and denial.
Obviously, you don't want to hear about my experience. If what you are doing is working for you, then by all means, carry on. The Buddhists have a saying about life:
Pain is mandatory, suffering is optional.
All the best,
L