Originally Posted by
bookwyrm 
Wow. I had a hard time wrapping my head 'round the concept that XAH was abusive and passive aggressive deliberately but you've just been given a great big sign that it is deliberate! I find it scary that people can think like that. And that I married one...
Yeah I have tried to tell myself for years that this is not intentional and that it's sad and it's subconscious and if he works on it it could change...
And maybe the latter part is true-- but boy did he just show his true colors tonight.
And, I did (just 5 min ago) tell him that I hoped he could remember, the next time he chooses to act in a passive aggressive way with me or anyone else, just how angry/frustrated he just felt. He looked at me and said "that wasn't what I was upset about-- it was that I was afraid your mom would verbally attack me about "us" in front of the girls". I just looked at him and said okay and then said that I knew for me that I sure appreciate directness instead of passive aggressiveness. He said "yeah me too, passive aggressive crap like your mom's is madening".
He's definitely losing the ability to keep up the lies/stories/acts... What's that AA expression? More will be revealed or something like that? Boy did tonight reveal a lot.
And best of all... I am not the least bit upset by it.