wanttobehealthy

I had to have my mom pick up my girls from school today bc I got hit with a stomach bug going around and have been out of commission since last night.

She took them to her house to play and AH offered to pick them up there and bring them home.

They walked in the door with D5 bawling (I guess she was being fresh and AH told her she didn't get to have an easter basket treat as a result). I played with them, made dinner, read stories and finally asked if he'd help bc I was running back and forth to the bathroom still really sick...

I went up to lay down and 2 seconds later they started fighting/crying etc...

Fast fwd they are finally heading to bed. I hear D5 ask AH 'wait I forgot to brush my teeth, aren't we supposed to do that?" and he barks 'just get in bed'. Not another peep out of her. I risked him getting mad at me and said after he put her to bed, 'it's fine to tell her let's just skip it tonight, but don't you think we ought to answer her when she asks us things? I worry that she will think it's okay to ignore someone when she's asked a question and I don't want to teach her that'.

He responded and said 'I'm f'ing tired, in a bad mood because of your explative mother and you and your being "sick" is just f'ing selfish'.

I got up to go downstairs to put D3 to bed seeing as he was in a foul mood and simply said 'I'm sorry you're tired and in a bad mood- that doesn't justify talking to me that way".

I put D3 to bed and went to the kitchen assuming he was gone. He was still there and apologized for biting my head off but of course added a "but your mom was really awful to me when I picked the girls up". I just looked at him. He continued and went on to say "I couldn't prove it, it was all just subtle body language, eye raising, and an angry vibe from her but I could tell exactly what she was doing and why and it was f'ing obnxious". I responded and said that sounded tense and that he should tell her how he felt. He responded that that was pointless since he had no proof and then rattled off all the excuses he "knew" she'd give to explain away what she was doing even though he knew better and knew she was doing it intentionallly.

I just stood there, stunned, thinking : are you seriously whining about my mom treating you precisely the way you treat me and admitting that you know exactly what she is doing (even though it was all unspoken) and why because you pretty much do the same thing?

I am sooooo tempted to want to tell him that I am sorry she was being passive aggressive and point out to him that I hope he knows now what I feel like 24:7 when he's around. Just this weekend he was doing this same passive aggressive b.s. and anytime during our marriage that I have called him on it he's given me all the lines he claimed my mom would give him if he were to call her on her behavior.

I've tried to tell myself he's "unaware" of what he does and that it's all part of the addict thinking and not a conscious abusive choice, but tonight blew that theory out of the water.

Is it ironic at all does anyone think that I was reading Why Does He Do That? today?

I am sure that the girls paid a price as did I for my mother being passive aggressive toward him and I wish my mother wouldn't do so. Not because I care how he feels but bc the price for the rest of us is too great when he feels he's been "mistreated".

He has a justification for all the abuse he dishes out but lest anyone treat him badly, boy, tonight sure demonstrated what king baby he truly is.

Unreal.