I was just talking about this very thing last night to my husband. Do you think maybe your bestfriend has his own issues with alcohol? When I was drinking at my heaviest, I would avoid being around people that didn't drink (no matter how much I adored them) because it made me feel guilty and full of shame that I couldn't even give up my wine for one night.
My bestfriend was in town about a month ago and I laid it on the line and told her that I no longer drink alcohol. We were talking in depth about this, etc. and she wanted to know how much I was drinking. I said I was drinking about one bottle of wine (normal size not the 1.5 liter) per night about five times a week and she let out this loud gasp like it was the craziest, wildest thing she had ever heard. At first I thought she was joking, but she wasn't. I tell this story because I love her dearly, but she comes from a family riddled with alcoholism. She drinks every single day. At her mom's funeral, her and her siblings probably downed at least 8 glasses of wine each. Heck, even the priest was getting hammered. No lie, I saw him down five martinis in one sitting. I don't know if he is part camel or what because he didn't even get up to go to the bathroom. This is the same friend who will drive through the night to get to my house (her kids are still little) and crack open a beer at 9:30 in the morning upon arrival.
Anyhoo, I didn't mean to turn this thread into an all about me. I just am baffled by the diverse reactions to my not drinking. It's almost telling of who really do drink problematically. Seems like the ones that don't have a problem at all with alcohol will tend to forget that I told them I quit drinking and say "let's go grab a drink somewhere." I'll even remind them that I quit drinking and they are not focused on it at all...more of a "oh yea, I forgot you told me that."
The point I am so inarticulately trying to make Angelus is that peoples' actions speak volumes. I think people with alcohol issues now use me as a yardstick to some extent to measure how bad their drinking has become. Those that no longer hang with me are the ones that at the time I thought were my kindred spirits in that we liked to pound drinks together. I don't think they are jerks at all for not sticking around. Right now, life with alcohol is all they know. Even if your friend is a light drinker, he probably associates coming home with drinks and mini-reunions in town at the bars. He is at a totally different place where he feels comfortable and is not ready to give up that.