It took me a while to get over my self loathing and distorted perception too...I'd fuelled it for 20 years with drink and drugs but I wasn't really aware how deep rooted some of that stuff was.
The reality is you're doing this - you're in the right place nancy, TOI, everyone...you've already moved on from where you guys were... and you're trying
lean on us when you need to...you can do this
D