Hey Putme - you're in a very stressful place right now and there's no doubt you are about to snap. Anyone in your position would feel the same way
I'm sorry you are in this spot.
I only can share what helps me in similar circumstances:
1) Do my best to carve out time in my day for self-care/entertainment/hobbies/time with friends This reminds me that there is a world outside of the insanity my home life has become and serves to remind me that I want Serenity more than anything. I remember that being true to myself and honest with others is the key to my happiness.
2) Get real zen about it all -- try practicing the art of Radical Acceptance What you resist persists. You can "want" A, B & C all day long, but in the end it IS what it IS. There is no need or purpose served by placing blame and harboring anger about it... it's just Life. Deal with it and move on. Find YOUR joy.
3) Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Do at least ONE task each day that moves me toward my goal. I've been through a ton o' sh*t in my life and had to move through some very painful situations (we all have!). I have learned to prepare myself for the pain. I accept that there's going to be some extremely tough days and weeks ahead -- times when I'd rather have my hair set on fire rather than deal with them. But breaking it down to small daily tasks that keeps me moving forward is the very best way to finally get to my destination.
I dunno. It's what works for me. I hope it helps. (((((Hugs))))