Thank you for sharing your story, concernednurse.
I think it's great that you are in recovery. Fandy's post (and perfectly fair questions) sums up why we need recovery ourselves. Because a "normie" would have just walked away, right? Al-anon (or F&F or therapy or whatever) isn't about our qualifier at all, it's about finding out why we didn't walk. Indeed, it's about why we got so engaged.
Hope you have fun on your journey!