Thank you everyone!
I have heard him in recent weeks, months even -- pretty much from the start of when he claimed to be "wanting" to recover, talk in ways that sound a lot like relapsing of the mind to me.
I found, quite by accident, quite a stash of hidden bottles etc... yesterday (when looking for a quilt my deceased grandmother made for me to bring to my job to show a woman who knew my grandmother). I looked in this antique trunk I have and found all sorts of evidence that the "2 beers" he claimed to have relapsed on a few times in the past months most definitely weren't all there was....
His mind is not in a place any different than when he was drinking a case of beer + a night.
I appreciate hearing from those who have walked the walk that my gut telling me I am being lied to is dead on accurate.
I almost wanted to be wrong, you know... be told that what he was telling me was true... It'd be a lot easier to accept that all I have to do is change my perspective to be able to keep my marriage than accept that the way things are is not something I can live with anymore and have to walk away.
But, as I told him yesterday, whether it's easy or what I want or hope for, it's what I NEED to do so I've already made the decision to do the latter...
Thanks again everyone. I appreciate your words more than you know...