Not sure about you Brokenheartedfool but I am a very structured person with LOTS of responsibilities in my life and career. I did everything by the book and yet found myself craving that other type of life.
He lives for the now. and in my head I romanticize that as some type of freedom. But the reason he lives in the now is because he gave up on his past and future. Where else is there to go?
But when my head is in that romantic haze, I stop and look at my life and all the hard work and tears I put into it without anyone's help. So to think that I came 'this' close to having someone bring chaos into it? Nooooo way. I come to my senses.
I realize that my life isn't boring.. it is harmonious. And I need to keep it that way. I do get scared though that I will start to let my boundaries erode because of the love I have for him. Sometimes I even get mad at him for sneaking into my life and making me care.