Yup, file that one next to... "But my drinking is so much better than it used to be."
And to be honest, if he thinks it's better, and he's okay with that... then that's his perogative.
The reality is for me - I am aware of the slippery slope and how quickly he and I slide back down it when the drinking ramps back up again (and it ALWAYS ramps back up). So, as long as the drinking continues - even if it's ONLY 1-2 beers - the cycle continues. And I'm not okay living in that situation anymore. Sitting and wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. Prepared for the "worst". It's a terrible, terrible way to live. He tells me I focus too much on the "what ifs" - and he's right, I do. But in my defense, I do this because I am too aware of the cycle we are living in. I want to learn new behaviors, and get healthy mentally - and I just can't do that while I'm living in a "war zone".
My AH doesn't see it as a drink/don't drink option... he says, "Progress, not perfection" and moderate the drinking. Which may be true... maybe he's not an alcoholic. But he DOES have a drinking problem. He's drinking less, but he's not doing a damn thing to address the underlying issues - so it's in no way shape or form RECOVERY. It's white knuckling, at best.
But the reality of all that is... his drinking is his business. I don't want to be a part of it anymore. So I need to take the steps to detach myself from it.
So, what do you need to do to detach yourself from him?