Like I say to anyone who relapses. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. There is no sense in beating yourself up over it. It is done, you can't change it, so learn from it. I relapsed off and on for 3 years before it finally sank in.
I am really bothered by the fact that you heard that NA will make you want to use. NA is the only thing that ever made me NOT want to use. After many relapses, I am now coming up on 8 years ONLY through working and living the program of Narcotics Anonymous.