Cyranoak

...and at work too, and with my friends. Thanks to years in Alanon for that, and SR too.

At home it gets harder. I'm clear with daughter because I now believe I will be hurting her more than I already have in the past without boundaries that are enforced, and because I want to be a good dad going forward I enforce those boundaries no matter how hard it is for me. I hope she'll understand when she's older why I suddenly became a hard-ass about certain things.

Wife hasn't pushed my boundaries in over 8 months. When she was drinking all the time it was easy to enforce them and she pushed on them frequently, but I do have a fear that it won't be as easy if she relapses. If that happens, we'll find out if I've got the stones to do it. I ******* hate that I'm so scared about that still.

Using the ignore button is simply another kind of boundary setter for me. While seeming harsh or "divisive" to some here, it isn't about the people I'm ignoring at all the majority of the time. It's about me having boundaries for myself and knowing my triggers. The ignore button helps me enforce them.

Only twice have I "ignored" somebody simply because I thought they were bad people. And my ignore list is fairly long (although I'm pleased to say everybody who has responded to this thread isn't on it-- and that makes me feel really good for some reason).

Take care,

Cyranoak