Welcome back ARB
Please don't hesitate to get medical assistance if you need it.
It is hard and it is scary - but you're not alone - we understand.
Support was the thing that turned things around for me - really plug yourself in here, and maybe think about finding real life support as well - you won't be the only drinker with kids to consider...if Aa's what you're thinking, perhaps ring your local AA hotline to see if there's meetings with child care or something similar?
You can do this
D