I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Life is already stressful enough and then to have to struggle with addiction just makes it all the more difficult. Just remember how important you are and that you need to stay strong for you. Some one just told me those same words 2 days ago because i too was struggling with the emotional rollercoaster. Everyday is a struggle unfortunately but with time it'll get easier. All the best to you and if you ever need anything let me know <3