Welcome back ARB, thank you for sharing, cry away, it's good for you, we've hidden our emotions so long behind drugs and alcohol, it's a good sign to let those feelings go.
As hard as it is, I try to welcome the depression and know they are other people out there feeling the same way I do and one day it will turn around. Somebody said once, "Sometimes you're behind and sometimes you're ahead the race is long but in the end it's only with yourself".
Take it slow, one minute at a time if you have to, take a bath and listen to music, you will make it.
Good luck