Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
But there are lots of other times that I hear him say things and think "Seriously?" "How does he NOT get that that's out of line?" (and he does this with others-- not just me) and I've begun to wonder if he isn't a bit on an asberger-ish spectrum in terms of social skills and some other stuff... I was talking with the school Psych at my job about a student last week (who is on the autism spectrum and court involved bc of drug use) and he (psych) mentioned there being thoughts of a connection bw addiction and ASD. I don't know if there is but I know that what you said about wondering if your H even "got" that what he said was upsetting is something I've wondered a lot with my own H and maybe they truly DON'T get it. ?
I have taken, when angry, or even when not, to pointing out that my RAH can seem like LArry David from Curb your Enthusiasm sometimes.
I just find myself thinking, "People just dont say that..."
Or watch him being unable to let go of things the way he(larry david) can't on that show, and ending up in uncomfortable situations a lot.
HE did this at the Olive Garden other day. He got into it with a waiter, who did not want to take the tip before the dinner was over(dont ask me...), and he(RAH) ended up ripping the money up. ( i was not there, thank God..He was ALONE! at a restaurant acting this way. Then he called me and said..."oh, boy, I think I just made a scene...Why do I do that?)
DUH/!!!
Who does that? Who cares that much to rip up your own money to prove a point to a stranger?
But its this kind of thing...He will so often just not have the mental filter. His editor is pretty much permanently out to lunch.
And if you wonder if he ever got into fights because of it when he was drinking...HE was well known as the tasmanian devil of bar fights.
I guess I am figuring out that I definitely over triggered, and over aggressed. He feels bad, but I made him feel like a dog.
At the same time that I feel kind of sad about unloading on him, I feel as if that is the price of living that way for so long. His actions hurt me, long term. Trust is damaged, triggers are hazards of that fallout. Oh well....
We had been very civil for a while, so I jst was hoping to keep on the good path, and keep my side of the street clean...ya know?
Thanks