Welcome Howdy - we're all here because alcohol/drugs have caused us pain and heartache at the very least, yet we drank or used anyway. It's a kind of sickness/disease that affects lots of people, so try not to get down on yourself.
It's great that you're here (and there are lots of people on this forum who are close to your age). Getting through the cravings is hard at first, but take it one day at a time and do whatever you have to in order to not pick up that drink. It really will get better. Alcohol causes anxiety and depression, so it's the last thing we need to do when things seem overwhelming.
Keep reading and posting - we're all here to support you!
