Yeah, you are right, I thought I had it and then I backed down because I felt bad and we have been going back and forth since then. He doesn't want to be sober, he has even said as much. It's just hard for me because his kids love him so much. If I didn't have kids it would be easy for me, I am thoroughly disgusted. I think because I grew up without a father (mom widowed) and wanted it to be better for my kids I dragged this out way too long. I appreciate the advice and I am just going to work now on getting things separated financially as soon as possible. I won't post about it again until I really do something, I just think sometimes it's useful to write it down...