The book is actually about being assertive and expressing your wants and needs within a relationship which is healthy. So many people lose themselves and get taken advantage of in relationships because they let the other person be their eyes, ears, and mouth. They get walked all over because they don't speak up. We aren't saying we are trying to control men, we are saying we are controlling our own behaviors which in turn make men respect us more because we have an opinion which is better than not having one at all. Or at least it should make a HEALTHY man respect you more. That is, if you know who you are in a relationship and display it.
And, we are saying having an opinion and standing your ground doesn't work in a relationship with an A because they go off their own rules.
I also want to add that the word B.I.T.C.H. in the book stands for Bitch In Total Control of Herself.