Laurie- I didn't take offense at all to your earlier post... I appreciated it as I do this second one. My T has been in practice for about 30 yrs and I thought I was learning a lot from him but maybe I need to re-asses. I do know that I've worried far too much about wanting to know whether people at AA are calling him on his BS (my H that is) and I'd thought my T was right in telling me what he did about AA but maybe not.
I do know this about my H. When he is told something he does not like he shuts people out of his life. He's been through a number of sponsors (always has a story about what is wrong with them) and I bet my life on the fact that it's bc they've told him things he doesn't want to hear. He also says he prefers to "listen" at meetings (which over time has become code to me for "I don't want anyone to offer advice/opinion etc... or tell me what I am doing isn't okay")...
I guess some of what I've vented about to my T is this: Why is it that no one seems to be calling out those "R"A's like my H who want to play games with AA and not take it seriously (aka how I would have him doing it- LOL!). That's what started the conversation about how other members aren't going to go up to someone out of the blue and start telling them what to do... If my T is giving me bad info that's great! But if not, I do have to say that I kind of "get" this now-- An alcoholic who doesn't want to look at himself isn't going to be receptive to anyone telling him to do so (or maybe they will if it's another A?)
I guess I am just confused and ultimately need to stop caring what AA is doing or isn't doing for my H and just worry about me and "judge" my H's recovery on his actions that I see....