Oi! That's a toughie and I'm not really qualified to give advice since I have not been in the "other woman" situation. I do want to say that you should go on and get the divorce as you two were going to do in the first place..amicably. No need for court really, unless you feel he will not pay child support or something. Just my opinion of course. It's a real bummer that he chose a date over seeing his son, but that's the selfishness in him (and most, if not all active A's I think). Sad situation..I'm real sorry you are going through this.