So, many of you know that AH's mother was living with us. If you don't know, then here is the story. Mother in law lived with us for a couple of years. When she moved in AH was not really using...he was, but not "openly", and myself and mother in law were not aware of it. AH and I owned a bar at the time and were doing well financially, until the beginning of last year when we lost the bar and pretty much everything due to his addiction to pain pills..drinking started later. Ok, anyway..he has stolen from his mother a couple of times. Broke her heart of course, broke my heart too naturally. Well, that's when we found out about his out of control addiction. Anyway, the final straw for her was about a month (?) ago when he went on a week long crack binge and stole from her yet again. She called brother and sister in law in Arkansas and they come down to get her. I was torn (selfish I know) because she and I became really close. She is disabled, and I am as well. Her disability is physical, mine mental. Well, anyway, when AH wasn't here (which was most of the time), she was here for me, and I was here for her..we leaned on each other..so when she decided to leave, I asked her..pleaded with her..to not go..don't leave me. Silly looking back. Well, she and I got into a bit of an argument..no big deal, as we have been in them before..but this time she screamed, yelled and pointed her finger at me..I was on the couch about 7 foot away from her. Long story short, she told her family that I "abused" her. I have never, and would never abuse her..why she said it is above and beyond me. I have tried to figure it out to no avail. Anyway..she's gone now. Well AH's family on his late fathers side is basically what he has left now, besides me of course. I speak to his Aunt regularly to let her know that he is wanting treatment and to let her know that he is trying to get into rehab but the benzo's in his system are keeping him from it at the moment. Well, today there was a huge misunderstanding..his mother misunderstood something that he said (she's good at this). Before the misunderstanding I was on the phone with his Aunt telling her what was going on about the rehab situation. Well, tonight I get a text message from his cousin (his aunts daughter) saying that I lied to her her mother and that was not "cool". I replied saying that I had no idea what she was talking about and that I have not lied to anyone. Then she told me that she was "just saying"..and reminded me that my AH owed her mom 20 bucks (like that's MY fault). SIGH. So, now both sides of his family think that I'm a loser and a liar (and abuser obviously) I guess. Great.
It hurt my feelings terribly and I cried for a while. AH was upset, said he wanted to talk to her and ask her WTF her problem was, yada yada. I told him not to worry about it, I don't want any more drama. I don't know..is this normal for families of A's? The blame game so to speak? They are all pretty ****** towards him, and blame him for everything (granted this is HIS disease, but it is the disease that causes his behavior most of the time, right?) and act like they can "tough love" him into recovery. Just wondering if this goes with this crap? His family and I have always gotten along and this sucks.
