I don't usually come right out and tell someone what they should do, however, having been a private home care nurse for years prior to my own retirement, I am going to say the following:
Contact the person that spoke with you from Adult Protection Services and ask for help in getting into An Assisted Living Facility that has rehab. That way, you will get the help you need, when you need it, still have your alone time, and have rehab to become the best you can be after your stroke.
Continuing to live with man who abuses you is NOT helping your physical recovery, let alone your mental and emotional.
40 years or no 40 years, this is NOT love. This is out and out abuse. You may hesitate because it is familiar that is a big wide unknown (moving to Assisted Living) but it would be best for you ...................... physically, mentally, and emotionally.
It is, of course, your choice to stay, but if I were you, I would be long gone and in the process would be allowing him the dignity of taking care of himself and all its consequences.
J M H O
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing as we do care so very much.
Love and hugs,