When I walked away from RAH while he was still a drunk, I thought I was going to die.
I did not know how to feel, how to get back to me focused life.
When he was sober, and still being myopic and selfish, I had to make the first move to get him out of my childs everyday life...
It had to happen, but for the first few nights I was sleeping rough, then the next few nights I was feeling safe, untensing..Then I woke up smiling a few times.
The absence of so much chaos, and forboding tension, it takes a minute to wean off of, but...your body, mind, and heart will repay you for taking this action on their behalf, and it will start feeling good again to be you.
My RAH is still in my life, but I feel so much freer to be who I am, to have the day I am having while he is not just swirling his active chaos in my path day to day, becuase he lives by himself, with all of his messy mind swirls as roommates. My roommate is my self and my 6 year old.
You will remember to exhale, soon.