I remember your post.
I think if you and your husband made a boundary about the grades at the end of school year, then you should stick to that.
BUT...what tuffgirl says is true.And that may not be something that she really comprehends. I was in a rock band on tour for years. There are photos of me from 8 or so years ago, up on the internet. I was not half naked, I was not a mess, but I was drinking and smoking. I have a 6 year old, and one day he will see them.
My RAH dated a psycho girl on the sly, a year or so ago, before he got sober. She worked in a court house for the county.
She was an absolute mess, and she had photos like you describe up on her myspace, FB.
She lost her job over it, when one of her co workers saw it, and reported her behavior, n an attempt to get her some help. She was an officer of the court. She lost her job.
This is something that, even if you tell her she may not be able to hear, but, I think she is well within the age frame for you to still mention it to her.
She may end up blocking you, and if it becomes too painful for you, you might want to consider blocking her, so you cannot see those things.
Self preservation.
As far as her going there and overdoing it, I dont want to sound insensitive, but you and your husband let her go.
I think with the trouble she had gotten into at school, that there should have been some consequences.
She is not suffering any consequences right now.
And she is a legal adult, but she is still your child.
The harsh reality is, you and your husband may have to do some adjusting of your boundaries, some that will cause some dicomfort for her. It does not sound like she is getting any messages that her behavior is unacceptable.
I cant remember every detail, I think there was some scholarship money, or aid, but, the grades will affect that.
I would start considering an intervention of sorts, because she is still so young, but this behavior that you describe, which might be normal on spring break, is happening during the school year, on weeknights, pretty much anytime.
HOw will she get the message that her drinking and disrespecting herself like this is not going to just be able to continue with no consequences?
What can you and your husband lay down, in terms of boundaries that she will feel the effect of?
Does she have a vehcle? Is it in your or husbands name? Can you repo the vehicle?
NO matter what you do, in the present she is going to be angry and blame you. So you both might need to get past not wanting to be the bad guys.
We are all, in the lives of our alcoholics, the bad guys, until they own up and get some help, or until we step away and refuse to take that role. Its difficult in this scenario because she is still a young adult.
I feel for you.