For me The label of codependant has helped me open a door to he lifetime of patterns and behaviors I have exhibited since childhood.
I think i can even trace it back to its core now.
Since childhood. Any want, need, interest I had wither it be to go outside and play/ or take dance lessons/ or even go to college/ would be dangled in front of me for a time. then quickly snatched away. And any complaint on my part would be met with me being made to believe that I was selfish to want these things, and I just needed to deal with it.
(I spent 2 yrs in college before finding out my father had never paid any of the tuition! (never did find out what he did w/ my student loans) Not only was I not allowed back, but I could not take my trancripts because I had never paid for the classes!)
So I've spent my whole adult life helping other people fulfil their needs, because I had become so disconnected with my own.
Realizing now that there is a name for this makes me finally feel empowered to change my programming, and finally seek the life I've never before dared dream of. A life of my own!
Thanks for this post. very helpful