I think we should cut the guy some slack.
Sine, I find your posts very genuine and humble.
I appreciate your honesty and the work you are putting in.
#1 if your sponsor says no big decisions, than TAKE IT OFF THE TABLE to choose. Just put it aside for now. One day at a time. Do the good work you are doing. Stop stressing on it. THAT'S the work. Stop your mental spinning.
#2 I don't think it makes you a bunch of negative labels (immature, user, etc) to feel mixed feelings like this. I have been there. I was in a relationship with a WONDERFUL guy, in many ways, that was a fabulous friend, and the chemistry was not there.
It took 3 years for me to "get it" and realize I just didn't feel 100% there. I eventually left and it was the best choice, but it took me time to get there! The leaving was very painful and I lost a lot of great qualities and gifts and benefits (from/in him). It may be selfish, but I had a hard time letting them go.
That's okay.
My gut response to you is you are staying out of comfort/ease and you, deep down, know it's not "it" for you. That's okay, if that's the way it is. It doesn't mean you're a jerk.
The more you do your own work, the more you will find YOU and figure out just what you need.
Just because she loves you doesn't mean she's right for you.
In the end, TRUST your HP that more will be revealed.
Your job, right now, is to listen to your sponsor and stop spinning on this.
Treat her gently (as you say you do) and work your program one day at a time.
It will all pull together in time.
Hugs (and thanks for sharing!)
peace