Originally Posted by
sillysquirrel 
Are they emotionally available when not in active addiction? My RAH has not drank for 1.5 years. It seems to me his addiction to alcohol is the result of trying to self medicate himself or to numb himself to whatever is going on inside. Now that he has removed the alcohol...he is even more difficult, critical and angry than he was when he was drinking. I find him to be completely emotionally unavailable.
I've been living with my ABF for three years now, and I can say he is the complete opposite of my first husband who was abusive, and a complete friggen nutter. Thing is, my first husband was NOT an alcoholic, and he sounds exactly like the men described in this thread. In my humble opinion, the alcohol my contribute to abusive behavior, but an abuser is an abuser drunk or sober.