New here...finally becoming sober.
Hello, I am an addict. I started using heroin back in September of 2010, over the summer I went through a bad break up with a girl I dated for 2 years. Im 18 so of course all the emotions were so intense, etc etc. You know how that is. Well I started using in september and have been on and off because of being caught or whatever the case may be. I went through an IOP rehab which was such a waste of time. Well to fast forward, last week I went down to the east side of cleveland to go to my guy, gave him 40 bucks, and I was on my way. I noticed it didnt smell right or anything. I tried some of it, and it turned straight into liquid on my foil (i freebased) and i got a hit. In 5 mins I thought I was having a heartattack, it was some hallucinogen. So I continued to drive and I blacked out and hit a parked car doing 50 mph head on, came out with little to no injuries. I'm blessed to be alive right now, and have been clean since. I'm on suboxone as well now. My main issue I have is my father, and almost my mother now too. They dont let me do anything. My buddy was gonna pick me up so we could go get food, and my dad freaked out so bad because he was completely convinced I was gonna use the money to relapse. After I started fighting him about it he was like "see, i knew you wanted to use. if you werent gonna use and i didnt just stop you, you wouldnt be all pissed right now" and today, one of my good childhood friends OD'd and his mom called me when I was at my suboxone clinic meeting with my dad and I talked to her for a bit while my dad talked to my doctor. When we got home i went on the computer and started playing a game and my dad came in my room, took all the lighters out of my room, starting going through this locker i have looking in all the boxes, basically raiding it while im right there, so my dad thinks that i used my friend od'ing as a way to take the attention off of me and in reality my friend is perfectly fine. wrong. my friend might not live. idk, my dad is very intense and irrational and jsut so paranoid idk what to do. my moms getting there too, and she has MS (Multiple Sclerosis). she used to be my best friend and i could tell her anything but shes been so unpleasant for me to be around. everytime i wanna do soemthing she's giving me 10000000 reasons why i cant. i tell her my friends can pick me up. "no because you stole my money before and we could use it", etc. yeah i know that doesnt make sense. it never does. and everytime i tell her that she just gets all pissed. its a complete hell hole here. I havent left my house in 1 week. I'm always just so irritated. Im unhappy. This recovery is not working. If it werent for the suboxone id be sitting in my room freaking out on how to get high. I'm scared for when the effects where off. Even my doctor told my dad that im 18 and i have a free will to make my own choices and that he needs to back off. my mom thinks im making that up. and my dad is just so "scared to lose me" he seriously wont let me do anything. i need some advice.