It is sad when you can't save everyone.
I grew up in a crazy family and would spend a lot of time at friend's houses. I cherished the time I spend with "normal" families. I think it helped me realize that the conditions I was living under were not as they should be. Even the short amount of time that I spent with these people made a difference in my life.
When I'm faced with situations that are outside of my control, I pray and I work on my own recovery. Sometimes, acting as an good example is the only thing you can do.
Also, children need to know that they didn't cause it, can't control it, and can't cure it. I wish someone tried to tell me that when I was young.
Wishing you strength.
db