Searching81, my heart goes out to you. You have been deceived, but that doesn't make the break any less painful for you. You are right to want peace in your life. But that comes with change. I found these boards about a year ago and have found good people here, people who understand the disease of alcoholism and the codependent behaviors that some of us exhibit with our alcoholics. Love is powerful and muddy, but we all have a point at which we need to care for ourselves before we can care for another human being, no matter how much that person needs help.
Thank you for being here. I wish you strength in your decision and hope you'll continue to share.