He HAS to blame you for everything. The only other person to blame is himself, and active addicts will never do that. But you are not responsible for anything that he is doing, and you are definitely not responsible if he decides to kill himself.
Didn't he just say less than 48 hours ago that he wants to start going to meetings next week?
Many addicts (including the one I just left) dangle the suicide card when they feel really desperate. They know how attached we are, and how much we care, and know it's a great way to get attention and keep us on a short leash. Not trying to minimize the situation, just sharing my experience. Also, in my experience, when people contemplate suicide, it means they don't care if they live or die. This puts you in a very dangerous position, because if he doesn't value his own life, then he has no reason to value yours. Suicide is a threat of violence in my mind. It's far too common in the news today to hear of someone who takes another life before they take their own. Your safety should come first, not his. Is it really safe to be staying with this man in this condition?
Imagine you have a sister that you love very much. Your sister calls you, and tells you all these things her husband is doing. Demanding money for drugs and painkillers, even though she can barely pay the electric bill. No job. Drunk and verbally abusive on a regular basis. Lies and steals from her for drugs and booze, even though they are barely getting by as it is. What would you say to your sister?
Now say that same thing to yourself. You deserve better girl.
