I am so sorry. You have said all you needed to say, now I would just sit back and let her do what she is going to do because you can't change this. I wouldn't loan her money, but maybe still let her know you are her mother and love her even though this all makes you sick. It does mean a lot to know your mama still loves you.
I hope to God I never fall in "crazy love" again in my life. I'd rather be alone. It is so scary to see how somewhat normal women can go completely nuts over a horrible guy! My mom did it when she was in her 50s, so it's not an age thing. It's like people can become someone you don't even realize anymore!