Hi...
I am an alcoholic, who is sober, one day at a time.
I could have written your post, except that vodka was never my drink of choice
It was hard for me to hear from my husband how he felt about my drinking. Alcohol was my best friend, my release valve, my safety net...my escape hatch..how could I survive without it.
As an active alcoholic, I wasn't the wife I wanted or needed to be. More importantly, I wasn't the mother my children needed me to be. Drinking to the point of passing out means I am not there for my children. Drinking to the point of passing out, means the next day I won't be fully present for them as I nurse my hangover. Hiding a bottle meant I was hiding from my problem.
No one can say if you are or are not an alcoholic. However, people with a normal relationship with alcohol don't drink to pass out, bring their own bottle, hide bottles or prime themselves before parties. How do I know this? Because I did all of the above, and I am an alcoholic.
The last time my husband confronted me, I knew he had it. He was tired of living with an active alcoholic.
I had a choice to make, keep drinking..or lose my husband, children, and most importantly, my soul.
Drinking was my choice..it wasn't my husbands, or childrens.
You have a choice...it is up to you.