Well, sounds like the experiments didn't go so well. You were determined to find some booze somewhere, and you drank it even though you had committed to not drinking for a period of time. Sound a little obsessive to you?
Hey, I ALWAYS thought I "deserved" my drinks. I had all kinds of reasons why I deserved them. I had a good day, I had a bad day. I was bored, I was having fun. Ultimately, it was that I NEEDED TO DRINK.
Lots of people here quit drinking before they lost everything. I still had my job, my house, my car, never got a DUI. But my life was completely unmanageable on the inside. I was isolating myself because the drinking was the most important thing in my life.
Your own drinking behavior is hurting your marriage. I don't blame your husband for not wanting to be around your drinking. So far, the drinking seems more important to you than his feelings. Do you honestly think he is just picking on you for no reason? I'm sure he has been embarrassed and disgusted and worried for a long time--most people wait until it is getting pretty out of hand to say anything. Hardly any spouse suddenly starts talking about the alcohol problem because of one or two isolated incidents.
The question is, are you ready to give it up?