There are so many issues here that are dealbreakers. When I realized for myself that he just wasn't who I thought and I was not getting my "white picket fence" and accepted it, it was a major turn in taking care of me. I got into Alanon and had a veteran sponser who asked the right questions. Is he responsible? Is he using? Is he faithful? Will you ever trust him again? Is he an equal financial partner? Is it good for your child? You can protect yourself from him again. You did it before. Get a plan. Take action. I was doing this this time last year. I was taking action because I had been procrastinating. I did an action plan. Do #1., #2., #3.,.........one inch of the football field at a time, one bite of the elephant. Managable- little steps. You did it before. On "Intervention" the show the lady Candee Finnegan asked a girl......"what part of loving that man makes you happy?" The substance abuse? verbal abuse? legal issues? $ issues? health issues? infidelity? So glad you are posting again. We are all one/ not alone...