Well, 10 days is VERY early, but one meeting a week doesnt sound that committed.
My story,
My RAH came out of rehab. He was a fall dwn drunk when he went in, was a mess, had lied, cheated on me, neglected our child financially and emotionally. HE put himself in, because he wanted to change his life. He wanted to get off the drug of alcohol, and be a good man.
He had no idea what living in reality was like. And he came out, slept til 1-2pm each day for two months. I put out some boundaries. He would do as I asked, after I would get so angry that I was ranting. Then he would chastise me for being such an angry resentful person.
He went to some meetings, then less. He average abt one every 2 weeks, after a month and a half. Little changes were made, but I had to fight for it, which is not what I thoguht life was going to be like. Our son was so happy to have his daddy, but his daddy was only available to do things on his terms, on his timeframe.
He was not committed to living well, but was committed to being physically sober. All the other stuff is stuff that he wants to feel above. He is a 32 year old man, with the life skills and emotional skills of a teenager.
I struggled with him and the boundaries for 3 months before I realized he had stopped meetings all together, was hanging out at a bar. Not drinking, but not recovering.
He now lives outside the home, and is approaching 6 months sober, but, he still has a lot of work to do. With him out of my everyday dynamic, I am able to have a more stable life, less resentment, and he is facing his issues without the built in escape hatch of scapegoating me or our relationship in order to deflect the discomfort of his lack of skills.
He is now being forced to make the changes for himself, and thats fine with me.
It wasnt what I had in mind. The truth is, physical sobriety is just a part of the work.
Have you made any boundaries, about his working? About him getting out of bed?
You cannot tell him what to do, but, you can be clear about what you dont want to LIVE with. Having a lump on the bed or the couch in your house is not a great time.
One boundary that I made early on, was about him seeking psych help for his non alcohol issues, another was around ACTIVE recovery. Meetings, etc.
When he didnt follow through on either, I got more and more angry, resentful, until I realized my boundaries had been violated just like they were when he was a drunk.
He hemmed and hawed about leaving until I forced his hand.
Now he is just beginning to see that was the right thing for all of us, and he is learning, but, not fast enough to live with us.
I am realistic about how much resentment I am willing to let continue to grow. I dont want that from a sober person, maybe more than I didnt want it from a drunk.