Welcome to SR, BrokenFlowers.
Your BF sounds very much like my now-ex-husband and I empathize with the confusion you feel. Mine was very verbally abusive when drinking -- it was like he would turn into a monster that I didn't recognize. The next day he'd be apologetic, bring flowers, etc. and expect that all was forgiven. He never understood the depth of the wounds he inflicted.
Eventually, he did become physically abusive -- pushing and shoving -- but one time I ended up on the floor with him on top of me and his hands around my throat strangling me.
Long story short -- he never did stop drinking. We had two children together who are deeply affected by it, too. In spite of all he has lost, to this day (30 yrs later) he CONTINUES to deny he has a drinking problem or that it is the cause of any trouble in his life.
My question for you is simple: Are you willing to live like this forever? Are you willing to stand by him at the expense of your own sense of self? Are you willing to accept him just as he is?