And yet you stay married to him. Read your own post. Now tell yourself why you should stay married to this man. Now tell yourself why you shouldn't.
If you aren't already in Alanon, please consider starting. I believe it will help you become the kind of person who would be a good grandmother (Yes, this is a passive-aggressive sentence designed to get you into Alanon-- and I absolutely believe it to be true). I was a ******, ******, ****** father before Alanon. I'm down to only one ****** now, and I'm pacing being a good dad in the not too distant future.
God bless you and good luck,
Cyranoak