Again, I know that the financial aspect plays a part in what's holding you back...this is why it would be useful to speak with an abuse counsellor and see what they suggest. I don't know if you have access to a social worker, but they often have their ears to the ground regarding what support programs exist out there for stay-at-home-parents.
There ARE options out there. It's just a question of deciding that what's available is better for your children than learning that human relationships are about violence and addiction...