Originally Posted by
DestinyM 
I don't know how to support him without controlling him or being too aggressive and I guess I'm posting this for ES&H in that area. I had a sponsor but she was way too aggressive with her methods so I have to start over with that.
My qualifier is my 23 year old RAD. I had to stop supporting her, at least the way I had been, which was with control and aggression. I had to do a 180 and become passive for my own well being, and it ended up benefiting her, too. I started telling her (and admitting to myself) that I could not help her because I had not walked in her shoes. I started reminding her she had the tools and resources, it was all up to her to use them. Essentially all I did was reaffirm what she already knew, and allowed her to define her own boundaries, too.
By the way, my first sponsor was very aggressive, too. Her manner offended me and pushed me away; it was like everything was a challenge, there was no validation or encouragement. I picked her, though, and thought about the irony afterward. She was almost a mirror of myself.