So my AH went to detox on Wed for the 2nd time in 4 months. I woke up feeling anxious this morning, went to a Al-Anon Step Meeting (didn't have time to share) and still feel kinda jittery. I'm trying my best to turn things over to my HP, right now there's a lot going on around me; work demands have increased -- just did a 6-day, 50hr week and have been put in charge of the summer camp program for the whole city, not just my rec. center. ALL my kids are staying in my 2BR apt right now, I have both my grandson and nephew (both 2) for the weekend, in addition to the whole detox thing on my mind. Did I mention I've been PMSing the whole week? Oh yeah, and it's my son's birthday today - he's 15 & the 2-yr olds broke his new PS3 and his basketball game.
Anyway, I'm sending the 2 year olds home today (I can control that). After my meeting this morning, I got an ice cream cake, a card & balloon for my son. (I can control that.) I got some chamomile tea for my nerves (I can control that - I think.) My eldest daughter is taking the PS3 to Game Stop for repair. (I can control that.) I realized I only ate one meal a day this week so I'm going to focus more on my eating habits this week, even if it means setting an alarm. (I can control that.) I'm going to get some rest today and make a weekly schedule including prayer & meditation times & just surrender the rest to my HP.
I know my anxiety about the detox thing is I'm still only 2 months in my recovery. I'm standing strong on my separation in my marriage and maintaining my boundaries but I've accepted the my AH is very dependent on me and I'm really concerned about that with his recovery. I don't know how to support him without controlling him or being too aggressive and I guess I'm posting this for ES&H in that area. I had a sponsor but she was way too aggressive with her methods so I have to start over with that.
