I did not know what codependency was or that I was one until I came here and then went to alanon. So I guess I did go from ignorant to recovery.
How do I know I am recovering?
When I left my husband, I truly believed I was losing my mind. I was insane. I was so angry, I lashed out at everyone. I can't even begin to describe the misery and agony I felt daily with no reprieve.
So the first way, I knew I was recovering was I began to feel less of the above. The more knowledge I gained, the more I was able to see outside my box.
I became sane. I became less angry. The squirrel cages/anxiety slowed dramatically, to a point where it comes days apart and I catch it and change it.
The challenge of recovery is: when life flattens you, you handle it differently. You pick yourself up faster, you talk to yourself differently, you resolve issues differently.
I lose sight sometimes and fall back into old habits. I have to go to alanon meetings to stay in touch with how to stay away from the old habits.
My changes took months and I devoured every piece of information that even remotely possibly offered insight or hope.
I did the things I thought were dumb, or a waste of time. I had nothing to lose. I tried different paths.
Hope this helps some!!
