This is such a tough topic to post on: I'd like to share what happened Friday night.
You may have read my last post on Shellcrusher’s thread on Confrontations where I proudly described the detached way I carefully returned my AW to our old home after an event where she was drinking at our new home. She'd slipped after 3 weeks of not drinking and lots of recovery work, and was full of "oh my god what have I done, I've ruined everything".
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ontations.html
Others have also posted about suicide threats and their use in manipulation by the alcoholic. I also had some advice early on to be careful about these threats with underlying psychiatry. (there may be some)
Next morning I was quite unprepared to find her semi-conscious in her bed having taken a couple of week’s worth of depression meds. The most shocking part was she didn’t tell us. So fifteen hours on I find her in a pretty bad state. She claims she tried to vomit in the night but unable too had resieigned herself to the end.
Now she had possibly called after taking the overdose but I was giving quite short responses on the phone and a bit of a polite brush-off when she did (assumed it would be the usual "stuff").
Long story short: 11 hours in E.R. in observation and rehydration. Psych. doctor sees her and the remorseful declaration of will to live adn so decides not to admit. She is back at her homeand full of remorse at the damage and the set-back to her recovery.
My programme work really helped me deal calmly with the ordeal. Later on I even went out for the night with friends down from Dublin who I hadn’t seen for years and had a blast: Wouldn’t have done that before (and definately didn’t the first time this happened)
I am left with two thoughts,
1. What if anything does it change to how I remain detached, now that she will really do this.
2. How to resolve the untenable situation of the emotional terrorism without ending up with blood on my hands, potentially. This point assumed I would be in some way responsible, which i suppose I am not but her acts relates directly to my choices and decisions.
I remain committed to my temporary separation of myself and daughters, and we have kept the present arrangement.
Feel like I'm in a holding pattern...Any thoughts?