(((Stacylove))) - I don't know about you, but I was addicted to the 3 XABF's I had, as I EVER was to crack. I thought I needed them, that I couldn't live without them (especially the one I was with for over 20 years), that if they left me, I was worthless.
Turns out, I'm not only an RA, I'm a recovering codie (codependent). I couldn't live without someone else, even when they were definitely not the right person for me.
In early recovery, I was nutso with the loneliness and boredom. I was a crackhead...living on the streets, LOTS of drama, and I couldn't remember what life was like without all that.
I got a job, then another one. I started back to school. I haven't dated in the 4 years I have recovery, other than once or twice, because I want to make sure I don't pick a man because I NEED him, because he has something I need to fix, but because he complements my life.
I have many friends, on here, that I e-mail all the time. We talk about jobs, pets, weather, and occasionally recovery stuff. Though most of them are 1000's of miles away, I found a friend who lives down the road from me, who has horses, and we are planning a day to meet and go horseback riding..something I've wanted to do for a long time.
I understand the loneliness, the boredom, but at some point you have to do something about it. Volunteer, take a class in something you're interested in, join a gym. Do something that will develop friendships. Sure, they're nothing like having a man in your life, but I've found my friends have gotten me through WAY more than any man ever did....of course my men were A's.
I'm about to go to sleep, as I have to work tomorrow, but the longer you dwell on how lonely you are, and don't do anything about it, the worse it will get. BTDT.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy