Return from Rehab
I just need somewhere to talk, just for a second. Or nine.
My husband just returned from rehab a few days ago. He'd had a few day visits ... they were OK.
I feel like, now that he's back for good, things are back to the way they were. He's not drinking, but the same behavior is still presenting itself. He has his wall up and is isolating himself and me. He is still acting selfishly (no compromises). We had to discuss financials (turns out rehab isn't cheap and I'm the sole breadwinner right now) and he seems rather pissed that I am asking him to contribute financially to the family unit. I can't handle this all on my own.
I am doing better with setting appropriate boundaries, etc., but I know I still have work to do. The anger is still there though. The lies he told ... the manipulation. I'm still mad about it. And he is back but still doing the same actions. That hurts.
Today we have spent the day in opposite corners of the house. Each time I have tried to talk to him (granted, very few), he has had his wall up. I know it's "one day at a time," but I'd like some semblance of normalcy. Right now I feel like we're not going to get back to that point.
Everything was easier when he wasn't here. The house was taken care of, bills were paid, dogs were fed, etc. Now that he's back I'm just stressed. I'm taking time to do things for me (catching up on TiVo, knitting, etc.), but there is still that ache in my chest. I have only been married for six months. Can we get back to where we were? What am I supposed to be doing right now with a husband two days out of rehab? I try to communicate with him so he knows where I stand, but when I do (which, again, is rare ... I've noticed that one of my issues is OVERcommunicating), I get shut out. It feels like things are where they were before he left ... nothing's changed except for he doesn't drink.
I know I am to be patient, but sometimes I just want him to be him again.
Thanks in advance for your help and your gentleness.