CLASSIC!
Classic "projection", where they project their own bad behavior on us. I've seen it countless times.
I was told just the other day that her lying about drinking was no different than me finding the bottle of wine in the back seat, poorly hidden. How is it the same? It's not.
Just because they speak it, does not make it so.
You can never reason with an actively drinking alcoholic, as they are unreasonable.
You can never have an honest discussion with someone who is dishonest.
They seem to have no "filter". They say what ever pops into their mind. Mine calls this "brutally honest" and often thinks it an admirable quality. I call it "thoughtless" and think it offensive, rude, and selfish.
Does your man sound "thoughtless"?