Ken
Like you I am around alcohol at work (cocktail hour, business meetings and so on). I was sure I had to go because not to go would bring too much attention to the “non-team player�.
What I found out was , TA-DA, no one missed me when I did not attend a cocktail hour. If I skipped out on a dinner because I was "tired" (wink wink) it was OK, I was not fired and not thought less of.
I had to find out I was not as important as I thought I was. In fact my boss now knows what I am doing and he says that its OK if I skip out on all alcohol related functions.
I am not saying that this is you but for me it was an eye-opener. I do not have to attend business function where there is alcohol and when I do its when I am spiritually strong.
good luck