Probably the reason he does not get it (or understand you and your situation) is because he is not an alcoholic from what you say.
Why not take these simple tests
together & let him see for himself.
Also, there is plenty of literature available for the non-alcoholic to read up on to obtain a better understanding.
Twenty Questions of AA That helped decide I was alcoholic Help for Alcoholics alcoholism addiction treatment and recovery Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You?
Only you can decide.
CONGRATS on reaching out!
PS to answer your question, get in formal recovery for you and only you. Change, grow, recover. Then he will see a different person!