My problem was that I thought sobriety was a sacrifice. I had been a bad person who couldn't control my drinking. And my punishment was that I couldn't drink anymore. I wanted to delay my punishment and enjoy my last few days (weeks, months, years
) of drinking.
It wasn't until I could accept that life would be BETTER without alcohol that I could stay sober. And not even 'better' like chronic gangrene is better than amputation. Truly great. Life would be truly fantastic, peaceful, fun, fulfilling, invigorating, satisfying if I could stay sober.